knees definitely feel their/my age tonight. Combination of age, Everest, and cold rain taking their toll. Happy to be tucked under a warm blanket with a hot cup of tea! It’s an Advil kinda night💤💤💤 will be good to go by morning! 

It is a rainy night in Kathmandu and I am tired after a long day of pricing and negotiating for school supplies.I went to book stores, science supply shops, and tailor shops. I am so excited about providing the teachers and students with resources, libraries, early child development materials and science resources. 

I am still pondering so many questions as I go about my work. Most of these questions center around child labor; slavery; human trafficking.looking for the lines. I clearly know right from wrong, but there is so much gray In a culture where children are regularly utilized as domestic help. Particularly children from the lower caste that are the poorest, the most vulnerable, the “untouchables” . In my world there is no child that is untouchable,that is too dirty, or too wild.  Every child  deserves to be loved, Actively loved and cared for and given the best we can give them. To do anything less is simply unacceptable. To have the ability to give good things; conditions to a child and withhold those things is unacceptable. How do I continue to try to be loving, compassionate, and nonjudgemental and still stand up for what I believe when people I care for deeply practice unacceptable behavior towards a child. I don’t believe that judgingor rejecting   is a way to create change; only love and compassion. Walking away is not the answer, I’m just not certain what the answer is… Life is so hard for so many children here in Nepal… Big sigh… We can only do our best. JUdy says we are creating “ripples” of change – I sure hope so!!!! I have to believe this is true. 

Our beliefs show in our actions, not in just words. It is possible to try to hide by “saying” the expected thing but our actions show our heart. If we truly believe all people are equal we treat everyone with kindness, compassion, and provide equal opportunities and care.  I am struggling in a culture where little girls are devalued, where castes are more than alive and well. I’m trying to reconcile cultural differences between plain old right & wrong; sometimes looking behind the curtain of life is so disappointing. These children just steal pieces of my heart and just because we or someone is making things “better” doesn’t mean they get the love and attention and value they deserve. Some of these kids are treated more like pets than the beautiful souls they are. Obviously this is weighing on me tonight … Trying to stand by my beliefs in my actions and be tolerant and compassionate at the same time, to act in love not judgement. Trying…. Some of the things I experience here are such a challenge. 

Kathmandu here I come!    
    

Spent the evening in Lukla with friends catching up on each other’s lives and drinking tea together.I was the only person in the tea house and plug in for charging phone in the hall with faint wifi connection from across the street.  I sat in the dark building with two coats on and my hot water bottle tucked in them to send messages to Mike & Bryce. I think I may have the imprint of a water bottle on my belly for life! Crossing fingers the weather clears and I get out in the morning. Night night…  
    
 

I cannot explain adequately the feeling of the last hour of climbing out of the valley back to Lukla, the gateway to Everest. It is not the exhaustion and relief like finishing a marathon, but rather some strange combination of emotion consisting primarily of an intense thankfulness for having had the experience and a profound sense of loss at leaving behind another piece of my heart. With every step I choose carefully special moments of connection to this place and these people to carry with me forever.  

If I don’t fly out on Tuesday I could be stuck in the Everest Region for days due to crazy weather. Now this is not necessarily a bad thing for me but I have much work waiting at the university and with ENG so I needed to not miss this window. I’m also very ready to feel warm and get a hot shower.!  The storms in the mountains seem so close and big and have been moving through since yesterday. We left with a 3 hour cold climb and within the first hour the sky opened and we were soaked and then the hail started…. Ouch, ouch, ouch! We had to laugh and keep moving. Just the two of us, nowhere to go but forward… Just may be one of my favorite times in the mountains. You learn some things about yourself when required.   

 
   
    
  

 My friends Nima, Mandira & Samila. Thank you for a wonderful stay!  

Happy Easter everyone!spent the day with Sherpa family teaching me to make momos. Missing my family back home terribly today.    

Kids gather from villages each day and walk through  the mountains. To get to school.